Making fun of awkward English is too easy. What I was really interested in were the illustrations of what was prohibited, which were unfortunately only captioned in Russian.
Looking over the picture I took of the sign, I can find only one interpretation for one of them: committing suicide by jumping off of the fort (fourth picture, first row).
(Edit: after asking my friend, it actually says no climbing on buildings... Not as exciting. However, the skiing one is real, since people used to sled down the fortress walls.)
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